Cole Imperi

Certified Thanatologist

Cole Imperi is a certified Thanatologist and the Founder of the School of American Thanatology based in Los Angeles, CA. With over 17 years of experience, her mission is to help people explore their relationship with death, dying, grief and loss so they can get the most out of life. Cole is a 2-time TedX speaker focusing on shadowloss and resiliency, and is the author of the book A Guide to Grief, for teens and tweens. Cole has been featured on the Netflix series The Future of… and in The Atlantic, The New York Times, Ologies, Marie Claire, USA Today, and more. She also writes the popular column Grief or Madness and consults on bereavement programming for organizations.

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Forum Comments (1)

What should I say to someone when their loved one dies?

One of the best things you can say or write is to share a memory of the person who has died. Instead of adding to the chorus of “I’m sorry for your loss”— you can say, “I’m so sorry for the loss of your dad. I want to tell you about my strongest memory of him — I remember him picking me up after school in eighth grade and taking me out for ice cream. I'll never forget the way your dad cared for me.”

Sharing memories is a gift — it lets people know their person made a big impact.

Co-authored Articles (7)

What to Write In a Sympathy Card: For Friends, Family, Coworkers, & More

How to write a condolence card from beginning to endWhen someone has lost a loved one, it can be hard to know the right thing to say. How could words possibly make a difference in a time of such grief? But sending a symp...

150+ Short Sympathy & Condolence Messages to Send to Family Members

Comfort a grieving loved one with these short condolence messagesIf someone in your family has recently lost a loved one, sending a thoughtful condolence message can bring them peace and strength. In this article, we’r...

150+ Meaningful Funeral Flower Messages

The best ways to offer your condolences through messagesWhen someone in your life experiences the loss of a loved one, it’s difficult to find the right words to express your sympathy. Get help by looking ahead to 150+ ...

What to Write in a Sympathy Card for the Loss of a Husband: 105+ Messages

Tips on writing a personal sympathy card to comfort a grieving spouse Losing a husband is a devastating experience, but sharing a thoughtful condolence message or quote is one to bring healing to a spouse in mourning. In...

150+ Touching & Sympathetic Messages to Send a Grieving Friend

Give a grieving loved one the support they need with these personal, heartfelt notesWhen someone passes away, it can be devastating for those left behind. Sending a short condolence message to a friend can be a meaningfu...

90+ Things to Say to Someone Who’s Grieving (& What Not to Say)

Experts explain how to comfort someone who’s lost a loved oneLoss and grief are some of the most inevitable yet devastating parts of life, and it can feel equally as difficult when one of your friends or family members...

How to

Express Sympathy

It’s heartbreaking to watch someone you know go through a deep loss. You want to say something, but how can you express your sympathy without coming across as insensitive or cliche? There’s no need to worry. With con...