Eddy Baller

Dating Coach

Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence-building, advanced social and communication skills, and building meaningful relationships. He offers in-person, 1:1 coaching for men where they can meet women and get live feedback. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve.

Professional Achievements

Author of How Intelligent Men Find Love Offline, a comprehensive dating book for men
Has been published on The Art of Manliness, orderofman.com, the POF blog, Life Hack, and more

Favorite Piece of Advice

You can't get dates if you don't ask them out.

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Forum Comments (11)

Why can't I get a girlfriend?

The main reason most guys can't get a girlfriend is that they don't actually talk to or ask out enough women. In some cases, they don't ask out any at all. Side effects of not asking anyone out are the underdevelopment of confidence with women, and the lack of the right social skills to attract women (social skills, confidence, and assertiveness are the magic trio to attract women). To fix this problem, just start asking out every woman you run into that you're interested in. The girl serving your coffee, the one you bumped into at the grocery store, even your waitress. Stop passing up opportunities to chat with and ask women out, and you'll quickly close the experience gap and the lack of opportunities.

You can learn these skills in my new book, How Intelligent Men Find Love Offline, available on Amazon.

How long does it take to fall in love?

This varies between different people, and there is no clear answer. But what people often call love is actually lust. Lust is a strong desire to be with someone you can't stop thinking about. This is actually based on sexual desire and can be almost instant. Love is something that develops over time, and although it does include sexual desire, it contains a more thoughtful appreciation for the other person. It isn't as extreme, but it is a deeper, more knowing feeling than lust.

What defines a situationship?

If you are asking yourself this question, then you're likely already in one. An official relationship doesn't have ambiguity and will be clearly established between partners. If your partner avoids the question about what you mean to each other, then you have a situationship.

Should you kiss on the first date?

I believe that you should wait until you invite her home to kiss her. Then, you can see where it goes, and you'll be in a position to take it further.

It can still be fun to just kiss, but it's sort of a half measure, and doesn't let you establish much of a physical connection.

What's on your ick list? Tell me your biggest icks.

The major "ick" factor that makes a man undesirable to women is going out of his way to please or be a yes-man. Nobody really respects a yes-man because they're just going along with whatever you say in order to please you. It's not actually their opinion. Women want somebody who has some courage. And, typically, being a yes-man is also sort of opportunistic and manipulative, because these guys think that if they just do what a woman wants (or what they think she wants), then she's going to like them.

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Q&A Comments (90)

How can I be a better girlfriend?

It depends really on what you're concerned about at the moment in your relationship: Are there some "bad" habits you've developed you think could do with improvement? Things like being on time instead of always running late, texting back instead of ignoring him, or making him pay all the time instead of sharing? If so, those sorts of things are easy to fix just by thinking about what needs changing, then making the changes. Other things you can do include being more understanding, helping him out with any difficulties he might be experiencing, and trying to get along well with his friends and family. Ultimately, make an effort to share what's on your mind and be more open about what you both enjoy.

What does being a girlfriend mean?

Being a girlfriend means that you're dating a guy or a girl to whom you're attracted. Generally, it's about being committed to spending time with one person exclusively and doing fun things together, sharing your life together and trusting one another. You may or may not want to get intimate with this person, whether it be kissing, holding hands or even sexual relations at some stage, that all depends on what is appropriate and right for you. Mostly other people will consider you are an exclusive (or not) couple who cares for each other in a special way. It may be a long-term thing, or it could be short lived; it is not unusual to be a girlfriend many times before finding the person you want to spend your life with.

How do I act around my boyfriend's friends?

Be considerate of his friendships and realize that they have an important place in your boyfriend's life even with you being around. This includes not resenting the time he spends with his friends. When he asks you to meet with his friends, be friendly, interested and open-minded about them. Talk to them as you would to your own friends, ask them about their interests and how long they've known your boyfriend for. Avoid flirting with any of them (a complete no-no!), don't gossip around them and avoid trying to match make any of them with your own friends. Be yourself, as it's why your boyfriend likes you. Finally though, if any of his friends seem resentful of you and you don't seem to be able to get along with them, have a chat about it with your boyfriend; he might be able to sort it out without a fuss.

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Co-authored Articles (127)

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Practice French Kissing

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The Best Ways to Caress a Woman & Turn Her On

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Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend

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Kiss Someone for the First Time

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Kiss in a Variety of Ways

The “perfect” kiss might be different for everyone, but there are a few tricks to make your next makeout session even hotter. Use your tongue the right way to leave your partner wanting more and don’t be afraid to ...

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How to tell if his feelings for you go beyond just wanting to be friendsAh, the age-old question: does he have feelings for me? Even though it might feel like you’re trying to crack a secret code, there are actually pl...

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Kiss and Cuddle With Your Boyfriend

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