- Cute |
- Deep |
- Flirty |
- Funny |
- Romantic |
- Dirty |
- Juicy |
- Serious |
- Fun |
- About Values |
- Family & Childhood |
- The Future |
- FAQs
This article was co-authored by Lauren Sanders and by wikiHow staff writer, Bailey Cho. Lauren Sanders is a Professional Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and the Founder of Dating for the Soul. With over four years of experience, she specializes in helping singles find love. Lauren is also the author of Lipstick Faith: A Collection of Inspirational Writings and Life Lessons, You Deserve the World, Rainbows and Strawberries: 100 Devotions for the Brighter Side of Life, and Let's Go Outside Mommy. Lauren holds BS from Dillard University and a Masters from The University of North Georgia.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
Looking to learn more about your girlfriend and strengthen your connection over text? Asking questions is the perfect way to build intimacy and take your relationship to the next level. That’s why we’re providing the ultimate list of questions to ask your girlfriend over text, whether you’re looking for deep, flirty, funny, or serious options. We also spoke with professional matchmakers and dating coaches for advice on asking personal questions without crossing any boundaries.
Top Questions to Connect with Your Girlfriend
Matchmaker and dating coach Lauren Sanders says to ask your girlfriend about her family history, where she comes from, what she’s searching for in a relationship, and if she wants children in the future. Here are some example questions:
- How important is family to you?
- Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
- What’s your favorite childhood memory?
- What are your non-negotiables in a relationship?
- On a scale of 1-10, how important is having kids to you?
- What do you think is the key to a happy and healthy relationship?
- Are there any religious or spiritual beliefs that are important to you?
Steps
Cute Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend Over Text
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Start with cute and classic questions before moving onto intense ones. No matter how long you’ve known your girlfriend, there’s always something new and exciting to learn about her. Discover her likes and dislikes, secret skills, and any other random information you’ve been dying to know. It’s a great way to learn more about her and deepen your connection!
- What’s your favorite scent?
- What’s your favorite flower?
- What’s your ideal Friday night?
- Do you have any hidden talents?
- What’s your go-to karaoke song?
- What’s your favorite board game?
- What’s your dream vacation spot?
- What’s the theme song of your life?
- Are you a night owl or an early bird?
- What’s your favorite way to unwind?
- What’s your favorite book of all time?
- What’s your most prized possession?
- Do you prefer staying in or going out?
- What does your perfect day look like?
- What’s the #1 thing on your bucket list?
- Who’s the greatest character of all time?
- What’s the best gift you’ve ever received?
- What’s your favorite special occasion meal?
- What’s your go-to comfort movie or TV show?
- If we were a DJ duo, what would our name be?
- If we got matching tattoos, what would they be?
- Would you rather explore space or the deep sea?
- What’s a random topic you secretly know everything about?
- Who would you pick to play you in a movie version of your life?
- Out of the two of us, who would be more likely to survive a zombie apocalypse?
Meet the wikiHow Experts
Lauren Sanders is a matchmaker, dating coach, and the founder of Dating for the Soul. She specializes in helping singles find love, with over 4 years of experience.
Laura Bilotta is a dating coach, matchmaker, and the founder of Single in the City, with over 21 years of experience.
Courtney Quinlan is a matchmaker, dating coach, and the owner of Midwest Matchmaking, with over 15 years of experience.
Deep Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend Over Text
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Delve into deeper questions to discover the real her. If you’re trying to build trust and intimacy, ask your girlfriend about her values, dreams, fears, and past experiences. It’s one of the best ways to move beyond the surface and deepen your relationship. Just make sure to ask her if it’s okay to discuss personal topics before diving in, and be prepared to share your own answers!
- Are you religious?
- Who’s your role model?
- What’s your top goal in life?
- What keeps you up at night?
- What are you most proud of?
- When’s the last time you cried?
- What are you most grateful for?
- What’s holding you back in life?
- What’s your least favorite emotion?
- What’s your biggest regret in life?
- What’s something you can work on?
- When do you feel the most beautiful?
- How have you changed in the past year?
- What’s something you’re insecure about?
- What are 3 things you love about yourself?
- What role do you play in your friend group?
- What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
- What’s the biggest misconception people have about you?
- What’s the most important life lesson you’ve learned so far?
- What’s one thing you would do if you knew you couldn’t fail?
- If your life were a book, what’s the title of the chapter you’re in now?
- What’s something you’ve tolerated in the past that you no longer have space for?
Flirty Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend Over Text
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Ask these fun and flirty questions to spice up your relationship. Looking for ways to keep the spark alive? Find out what turns your girlfriend on so you can keep things fresh and exciting! Here are some flirty questions to make her blush and help you build sexual tension and desire over text:
- Am I your usual type?
- What’s your favorite way to kiss?
- What song gets you in the mood?
- Do you prefer kissing or cuddling?
- Who has the nicer butt, me or you?
- What’s your biggest guilty pleasure?
- Have you ever fantasized about me?
- What’s your favorite part of my body?
- What’s the best way to make you blush?
- Out of the two of us, who has more rizz?
- How often do you think about kissing me?
- Would you ever go skinny dipping with me?
- What’s the most distracting thing about me?
- What clothing do you think I look the sexiest in?
- Do you prefer being the big spoon or the little spoon?
- What’s your favorite way we spend time together alone?
- What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of me?
- If we were trapped in a dark and empty room, what would you do?
- If we switched bodies for a day, what’s the first thing you would do?
- If I asked you to remove one piece of clothing, what would you pick?
- If you had to save my contact only using emojis, what would they be?
- What do you think your 13-year-old self would think about who you ended up with?
Funny Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend Over Text
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Throw out silly questions to make your girlfriend laugh out loud. Sharing a laugh with someone is proven to strengthen relationships. So, come up with an unexpectedly goofy question to get the giggles going. Whether you reference an inside joke or bring up something completely random, here are some funny Qs to deepen your connection:[1] X Research source
- Do you pick your nose?
- What gives you the ick?
- Which Shrek is the best?
- What’s your most useless skill?
- What’s your biggest irrational fear?
- Have you ever re-gifted something?
- Have you ever used my toothbrush?
- Who’s your “hear me out” character?
- What’s your unpopular opinion or hot take?
- What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?
- Have you ever peed your pants as an adult?
- What’s the grossest thing you’ve ever done?
- What’s something non-sexual that turns you on?
- What’s the longest you’ve gone without showering?
- What’s the funniest thing you believed in as a child?
- What’s the worst time you’ve laughed at something?
- How long could you survive in a zombie apocalypse?
- If you could fight any historical figure, who would it be?
- Do you think a hot dog is a sandwich? Why or why not?
- Would you rather talk like Yoda or breathe like Darth Vader?
- What’s the best excuse you’ve given to skip school or work?
- What’s one inanimate object you would remove from existence?
- What’s the weirdest or most shocking thing you’ve seen in someone’s house?
Romantic Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend Over Text
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Keep the romance alive by asking her some sweet questions. If you want to reveal your soft side, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and find out what your girlfriend loves about you. Asking romantic questions can help you determine the best ways to connect with her, maintain her attraction, and build a healthy relationship. Here are some romantic questions to ask over text:
- What’s your love language?
- Do you believe in soulmates?
- What does love mean to you?
- Do you believe in twin flames?
- What song makes you think of me?
- Do you believe in love at first sight?
- What’s your idea of the perfect date?
- How did you know that I was into you?
- When’s the last time you felt butterflies?
- How would you describe me in 3 words?
- What’s something that reminds you of me?
- What do you find most attractive about me?
- What’s the first thing you noticed about me?
- When did you realize you had feelings for me?
- What’s something new you’d like to try together?
- If we had a Netflix show, what would it be called?
- What’s your favorite thing about our relationship?
- When do you feel most secure in our relationship?
- If we formed a band, what kind of music would we make?
- What’s something I can do to strengthen our relationship?
- Do you prefer grand romantic gestures or small surprises?
- If we had to move to another country, where would we live?
- How would you approach me if we weren’t in a relationship?
- If you could relive one day in our relationship, what would it be?
Dirty Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend Over Text
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Crank up the heat with these sexy and suggestive questions. Whether you’ve been dating for weeks, months, or years, you can bring passion back into your relationship with these naughty questions. They’ll help you find out your girlfriend’s sexual preferences so you can improve your sex life and satisfy her in the bedroom!
- What’s your favorite position?
- Have you ever made a sex tape?
- Do you prefer giving or receiving?
- How often do you think about sex?
- What was your sexual awakening?
- Fast and fiery, or slow and sensual?
- What’s your biggest sexual fantasy?
- What’s your favorite type of foreplay?
- Have you ever been caught in action?
- What’s your definition of amazing sex?
- Have you ever been turned on at work?
- What’s your favorite place to be kissed?
- Do you have any weird kinks or fetishes?
- Do you prefer being on top or on bottom?
- Would you ever be open to a threesome?
- What’s the craziest place you’ve had sex?
- Do you prefer morning sex or evening sex?
- Do you want to be controlled or dominated?
- What’s your hottest memory of the two of us?
- Would you rather have car sex or shower sex?
- What’s the most amount of times you’ve had sex in a single day?
Juicy Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend Over Text
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Put her in the hot seat with these juicy and revealing questions. Asking juicy questions over text is the best way to learn intimate information about your girlfriend, without making things super awkward. Here are some playful and juicy examples regarding her toxic traits, past relationships, and more:
- What’s your toxic trait?
- Who are you most jealous of?
- Who’s your celebrity hall pass?
- Have you ever stolen anything?
- Do you have beef with anyone?
- Have you ever ghosted someone?
- Do you still have feelings for an ex?
- What’s a random thing you find secretly hot?
- Have you ever spread a rumor about someone?
- What’s the worst way you’ve dumped someone?
- What’s the most embarrassing thing in your room?
- Have you ever had a crush on your friend’s sibling?
- Have you ever sent a dirty text to the wrong person?
- What’s the first thing you told your friends about me?
- What’s the most scandalous thing you’ve ever done?
- How would you rate your looks on a scale of 1 to 10?
- How do you know when you have a crush on someone?
- What’s the most unnecessary white lie you’ve ever told?
- What’s an embarrassing song or band you secretly love?
- Did you stalk me on social media before we started dating?
- What crime would you commit if there were no consequences?
- Have you ever let someone take the blame for something you did?
- What’s the dumbest thing you’ve done to get someone’s attention?
Serious Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend Over Text
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Ask mature questions about life to learn about her beliefs. Everyone has a unique worldview and perspective on life, which often leads to a meaningful conversation. Ask your girlfriend these philosophical questions to gain greater insight into her mind, and connect with her on a deeper level:
- What is justice?
- Can people change?
- Is beauty subjective?
- Would you be immortal?
- Is math invented or discovered?
- What is a meaningful life to you?
- Do you believe in fate or free will?
- Do you think morality is objective?
- Is the glass half-full or half-empty?
- Is nature or nurture more important?
- What do you think happens after death?
- Do you think money can buy happiness?
- What do you think the goal of humanity is?
- Are humans more important than animals?
- Are some people more important than others?
- Do you believe in a soul or a concept of a soul?
- Do you think people are inherently good or evil?
- What do you think is the meaning of happiness?
- Is there ever a justifiable reason to kill someone?
- Do you think physical or emotional pain is worse?
- Is it ever justified to lie to protect someone’s feelings?
Fun Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend Over Text
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Suggest hypothetical situations to take the text convo to the next level. If you want to pick your girlfriend’s brain and save a dying conversation over text, ask these creative “what if” questions. They’re fun, thought-provoking, and sure to prompt an engaging discussion. Plus, you can find out just what type of person she is!
- If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?
- If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
- If you could stop time for a year, what would you do?
- If you could master one skill instantly, what would it be?
- If you could time-travel, which decade would you go to?
- If you could change your name, what would you choose?
- If you woke up as an animal, what would you want to be?
- If you could live in any fictional world, where would you go?
- If you could stay one age forever, which would you choose?
- If you could eliminate one historical event, what would it be?
- If the floor were lava, how would you get from place to place?
- If you could make any kid’s TV show, what would it be about?
- If you could only see one color, what color would you choose?
- If you could guest-star on any TV show, what would you choose?
- If you were an Olympic athlete, what sport would you compete in?
- If you were given the death penalty, what would your last meal be?
- If you were born 100 years earlier, what would your occupation be?
- If you won the lottery tomorrow, what’s the first thing you would do?
- If you could master any language instantly, what would you choose?
- If you could only watch one movie for the rest of your life, what would it be?
- If you could create your dream band with 5 artists, dead or alive, who would be in it?
- If someone followed you around and narrated your life, who would you want it to be?
- If you could have an unlimited supply of one thing for the rest of your life, what would you choose?
Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend About Values
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Ask about her values and beliefs to gauge your compatibility. Learning about your girlfriend’s core values, beliefs, and non-negotiables is crucial for building a strong and healthy relationship. Talking about these topics can help you work toward a shared vision and foster deeper trust and respect. Here are some good questions about values and beliefs:
- What’s your definition of love?
- How would you define loyalty?
- What’s your view on marriage?
- How important is family to you?
- How would you define cheating?
- What’s a hill you’d die on, metaphorically?
- What does emotional intimacy mean to you?
- What qualities do you admire most in others?
- Do you believe in forgiveness in a relationship?
- What are your non-negotiables in a relationship?
- How much quality time together feels right for you?
- What core values guide your actions and decisions?
- Do you think it’s okay to tell white lies in a relationship?
- How much personal space do you need in a relationship?
- If you could solve one problem in the world, what would it be?
- What do you think is the key to a happy and healthy relationship?
- How do you think responsibilities should be divided in a marriage?
- Are there any religious or spiritual beliefs that are important to you?
- How important is honesty and communication in a relationship to you?
- How important is it for you to have similar political views to your partner?
- Would you rather be cheated on and never know or cheat and have your partner find out?
Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend About Family & Childhood
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Bring up her family dynamic and childhood to deepen your bond. According to Sanders, “asking about [her] family history” is a great way to learn more about your girlfriend.[2] X Expert Source
Lauren Sanders
Matchmaker & Dating Coach Expert Interview Knowing this information can help you understand her communication style, conflict-resolution skills, and thoughts on love and marriage. Just be mindful of her comfort level and don’t pressure her to open up—if she doesn’t feel comfortable talking about the past, “respect her boundaries and move on to the next question,” says dating coach and matchmaker Laura Bilotta.[3] X Expert Source Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Interview- What were you like as a kid?
- What’s your earliest memory?
- Are you closer to your mom or dad?
- Who’s your favorite family member?
- How did your family handle conflict?
- What was your dream job as a child?
- What role did you play in your family?
- Was affection common in your family?
- Who was your role model growing up?
- Did you feel safe and loved growing up?
- What’s your favorite childhood memory?
- What did you love to do most as a child?
- Do you feel like your parents truly know you?
- Did you go through any phases as a teenager?
- How would you describe your childhood in one word?
- Do you have any childhood fears that stuck with you?
- How did your parents influence your views on relationships?
- Did you have a positive or negative high school experience?
- What’s something you wish you could tell your childhood self?
- How do you think your childhood influenced who you are today?
- What’s something about your family dynamic that you wish were different?
- Did your parents have high expectations for you? If so, how did that affect you?
Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend About the Future
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Talk about expectations and plans to gain clarity in your relationship. Asking about the future ensures that you and your girlfriend are on the same page and have similar expectations for each other. “Being able to have open, honest communication about where you stand and where you see things in the future can help make those dreams come true,” says matchmaker and dating coach Courtney Quinlan.[4] X Expert Source
Courtney Quinlan
Matchmaker & Dating Coach Expert Interview Here are some questions to help you understand her goals and where she sees the relationship going:- How do you want to be remembered?
- Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
- What’s your biggest fear about the future?
- Do you have any fears about getting older?
- Where do you see yourself living in the future?
- What does a lifelong partnership mean to you?
- How can we keep the spark alive as we get older?
- How do you feel about the uncertainty of the future?
- How do you feel about caregiving for aging parents?
- How do you see our relationship evolving in the future?
- On a scale of 1-10, how important is having kids to you?
- What’s something you hope you never lose about yourself?
- What do you think our biggest challenges will be in the future?
- If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?
- If we have kids, how do you think our parenting styles will differ?
- Do you see yourself retiring early or working as long as possible?
- How do you handle major life changes or unexpected challenges?
- How do you want to make sure we support each other in tough times?
- How do you want to handle financial stability and security in the long run?
- What’s something you hope to have accomplished by the end of your life?
Frequently Asked Questions
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1What are some “trick” questions to ask your girlfriend? While you shouldn’t trick your girlfriend into sharing her feelings about you, there are some funny questions you can ask to gauge how much she’s into you. Here are viral questions featured in the TikTok trend where couples ask each other “trick” questions to start a playful argument and lighthearted banter:
- How often do you think of me?
- Would you still love me if I were a worm?
- What is one thing you don’t like about me?
- Am I the funny one or the hot one in our relationship?
- If you cheated on me, would you be honest and tell me?
- If I had an identical twin, how would you know it’s really me?
- Would you rather kiss me or the most handsome man in the world?
- If you were stranded on a deserted island, who would you want to be stuck with?
- Imagine you’re in a room with 10 guys who are more handsome than I am. Are you still going to pick me?
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2What’s the best way to ask your girlfriend deep questions? The key to asking her deep questions is to be patient, receptive, and open-minded. Certified leadership and life coach Christina Stathopoulos, PCC, ACCC, says to “really listen to what [she’s] saying,” instead of “planning what you want to say next.”[5] X Expert Source
Christina Stathopoulos, PCC, ACCC
Certified Leadership & Life Coach Expert Interview Follow up with an engaging question to make your girlfriend feel heard and understood, and don’t pressure her to answer uncomfortable questions.- To avoid offending your girlfriend or hurting her feelings, set clear boundaries about what you’re willing and not willing to discuss, whether it’s personal trauma, past relationships, or family dynamics.
- You can also preface a touchy topic by stating, “It’s totally okay if you’re not ready to share everything. Just know I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.” That way, you’re acknowledging her feelings and being supportive.
- According to matchmaker April Davis, “women want to feel seen and heard.” So, “it’s important to listen and hear what [your girlfriend’s] saying, expand on it, and be genuinely curious about what it is that made [her] who [she is].”[6]
X
Expert Source
April Davis
Matchmaker Expert Interview
Expert Q&A
Tips
You Might Also Like
References
- ↑ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/relations/how-well-do-you-know-me-questions-25-questions-for-couples/
- ↑ Lauren Sanders. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview
- ↑ Laura Bilotta. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview
- ↑ Courtney Quinlan. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview
- ↑ Christina Stathopoulos, PCC, ACCC. Certified Leadership & Life Coach. Expert Interview
- ↑ April Davis. Matchmaker. Expert Interview
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